


reality and reflection

by Lavendelshampoo



Series: #thirstovertendou [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Festivals, Fireworks, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavendelshampoo/pseuds/Lavendelshampoo
Summary: It is the 5th of August, the evening before the Sendai Tanabata festival and about half an hour before the fireworks will be set off from shores of Hirose River. It is also Ushijima Wakatoshi’s last week in Sendai before he moves to Tokyo, but something (or someone?) here still has a hold on him and refuses to be left behind.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: #thirstovertendou [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842601
Comments: 5
Kudos: 87
Collections: Thirst Over Tendou 2020





	reality and reflection

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the #thirstovertendou event on twitter, organized by @_miintee and @breakingpengui1 - please check them out, they are amazing artists <3 Prompt was "festivals"
> 
> Actually this is not thirsty at all, but it means a lot to me. Please enjoy!

It is the 5th of August, the evening before the Sendai Tanabata festival and about half an hour before the fireworks will be set off from shores of Hirose River, flowing through central Sendai. It is hot and humid, the kind of weather that sticks to your skin and fills your lungs with damp. As the sun begins to set, the sweltering heat slowly gives way to a gentle breeze that isn’t enough to clear away the haze but brings a minimum relief.

It is the 5th of August, the summer after their graduation and Ushijima Wakatoshi will move to Tokyo in five days. The last few months have been busy with training, try outs, flat-hunting, contract signing and various appointments. He had never been afraid to move forward, to climb to greater heights, yet a strange feeling has entrenched itself in his chest, as if something here still has a hold on him and refuses to be left behind. 

The park is quite crowded with people hunting for the best spot, talking, eating, and taking pictures in front of the colorful paper decorations. Heavy smells waft over from the food stalls and scraps of conversation fill the air. As he spreads out the blanket, he brought along to reserve a spot, the school grounds come to his mind, which offer a grand view over the city and ample space to watch the event undisturbed.

Many visitors are dressed in traditional clothing for the occasion, showing off colorful yukata in anticipation of the fireworks. Wakatoshi’s own is simple in comparison: plain dark green and tied with a gray obi, a gift from his grandmother. It is the more comfortable style of clothing in this weather and appropriate for the occasion.

He settles down on the blanket and checks his phone once more, in case he needs to give better directions, when he hears Satori’s voice call out to him over the noise of the crowd. He is easy to spot, even in the hustle and bustle around them, but the moment Wakatoshi’s eyes lock on to him, he is taken aback. It’s not what he expected.

Satori zigzags through the crowd and flops down right next to him, sporting a gigantic smile. „Thanks for waiting, Toshi! I got you some food to make up for it!“, he exclaims, a little too loud, and shoves some takoyaki at him. „I ran across Semisemi and Taichi over there but then I lost ‘em. Like, on purpose. Abandoned them at the food stalls.“ He laughs at that and a mischievous twinkle enters his eyes. „They seemed rather… preoccupied with each other. Gotta give ‘em a little privacy, y’know?“

„I… see“, Wakatoshi answers slowly, although he is not sure what exactly it is that Satori implies, still stumped by his unusual appearance. It’s unexpected to see him in traditional clothing.

> „Huh, I must’ve been five or somethin’ when I last wore one of those“ _,_ Satori said when he spotted Wakatoshi’s yukata while borrowing a sweater. _I like yours, they’re bigger. So cozy_. It didn’t really make sense, since most of his own sweaters were oversized, but Wakatoshi didn’t question his reasoning.

He _could_ have perhaps imagined a flashy yukata with modern design patterns on his friend, but instead Satori’s is a dark purple, much darker than their school uniforms used to be and dipping into blue, like the night sky before a thunderstorm. He also notices the dotted pattern from up close, hundreds of tiny silver fireflies, embroidered on the fabric. It looks stunning and kindles the rare urge to pay a compliment, but at the same time it leaves him at a loss for words.

If he stares too long, Satori doesn’t notice, preoccupied with watching the small children arguing over some dango a few meters to their left. More and more people settle down and the surrounding noise fades to a soft murmur, as the sun disappears below the horizon.

„Such a romantic event, huh?“, Satori speaks up after a while, sounding absorbed in his thoughts and Wakatoshi follows his gaze to an elderly couple seated on little cushions below a cherry tree. They seem content, sharing some taiyaki and cold green tea. The strange feeling stirs inside his chest.

„Yes, it is generally considered as such“, he answers, and Satori snaps his head around to look at him, interest piqued by something in his phrasing.

„Generally, huh? What do _you_ think?“, he asks curiously and cocks his head so far to the side that it rests on his own shoulder. „What’s romantic to you?“ The crack of his joints is unsettling, yet it sparks the strange impulse to reach over and touch the side of his neck.

„I haven’t given it much thought“, Wakatoshi answers honestly after a moment of consideration.

„Hmm…“, Satori hums in a neutral tone, as if he weren’t really expecting an answer and extends his arm to poke at the box of takoyaki resting on the blanket between them. „Better eat your food before it gets cold.“

„We can share“, he offers and picks up the box. It’s impossible for the dish to get cold in the summer heat, but it shouldn’t be left standing there for too long either.

„Nah, I‘m good.“ A loop-sided grin appears on Satori’s lips when Wakatoshi looks at him with a hint of reproach. „I already had tons of sweets on the way here, honestly, I‘m stuffed.“ He laughs when Wakatoshi knits his brows even more and stretches before settling into a more laid-back pose.

„Feel free to treat me to some healthy food tomorrow~“

„Alright“, Wakatoshi replies, after swallowing his bite and wipes his mouth on the napkin that came with the food. The dish tastes delicious and is much more to his liking than any sweets.

„Really?“

„Yes.“

Satori chuckles quietly. „Alright then. It’s a date.“

Wakatoshi is aware that it’s just an empty phrase, a figure of speech, but it feeds the strange feeling in his chest that tells him he isn’t done here. He eats his food and watches the people around them. It’s so crowded that the proximity would be uncomfortable if their spot wasn’t slightly set apart - and then there is Satori’s presence, so bright beside him that it fades out the other impressions. His friend’s question is still nagging in the back of his head and refuses to be put aside, to be shut off along with that strange feeling.

„What does it mean to you?“ He looks at Satori again, eyes getting caught up in his yukata. It’s almost dark now and the fabric looks like he is wearing shadows. The redhead appears surprised by the question but not bothered and takes a moment to think about it while Wakatoshi finishes his meal and puts the packaging away neatly.

„Dunno. Everything can be romantic when it comes from the right person“, he answers slowly, looking up at the quickly darkening sky. „Like, for example, you’re ill and one of your friends brings you food and cares for you, what would you call that?“

„Considerate“, Wakatoshi answers without hesitation.

„Right“, Satori sounds delighted, as if he just gave the perfect answer on a quiz. „But if it’s your _special someone,_ it would be romantic“, he explains in a gentler tone and meets Wakatoshi’s eyes. „It’s still considerate, but you‘d feel loved in a different way.“

„I see.“ He looks at the takoyaki packaging while Satori casually explains what he wouldn’t have to explain to others and listens to the quiet buzzing in his chest. 

„It’s about to start, huh?“, Satori is suddenly close, twisting strangely to glance at Wakatoshi’s watch and eyes him up without moving away. „That really suits you.“ He gestures towards his outfit lazily and leans back on his elbows again. „It’s a great color. You look like a forest spirit.“ His eyes sparkle and a goofy grin stretches across his face but there is a subtle warmth in his voice, that Wakatoshi has grown fond of. He remembers that tone from Satori’s praise for his spiking form, from their talks about his future in the national team, from late night reading sessions on his bed, where Satori transforms a single Shonen Jump chapter into a two-hour documentary.

„Thank you.“ He would return the compliment, but there is nothing he can compare Satori to, so he watches him lie down on the grass, arms crossed behind his head, looking up at the sky expectantly and cannot tear his gaze away until the first fireworks explode overhead.

This, he realizes, he could have compared him to. The fireworks fill the sky to the cheering of the crowd: colorful, loud, vivid - just like Satori - exciting, ever-changing, unpredictable, special, beautiful - every quality that means little to him fused into a whole that he cherishes.

* * *

The fireworks have stopped almost an hour ago, but the air is still heavy with their scent. As the park starts to empty, Satori doesn’t stir, still lying in the grass comfortably. „Wakatoshi“, he speaks up, unusually quiet, still looking at the sky and for once his facial expression doesn’t change, rendering his features unreadable. „Stay here with me a little longer?“

„Sure.“

The food stalls close, people leave, it gets quiet and Wakatoshi doesn’t know how long they sit like this. At some point, Satori starts talking about what he learned about fireworks in science class: barium salts for green, strontium salts for red, combine them with copper compounds for purple - Wakatoshi remembers this from his own classes, but it has never sounded as interesting before. A light breeze picks up, not cold, just a pleasant gush of fresh air that fans the smoldering feeling in his chest.

„Y’know“, Satori says and sits up, wraps his long arms around his knees and beds his head on top of his legs. „This is my favorite part, actually.“ They are almost alone in the park by now, except for a small group of people near the entrance and an elderly man with his dog. He waits for Satori to continue.

„When the smoke settles, the air clears up again and the real stars come back out“, he explains and tips his head back to look up at the sky again, still somewhat hazy, but the brightest stars have reappeared above the river. Their light shines calm and eternal compared to the fireworks and Wakatoshi allows himself to unwind in the serene atmosphere, encouraged by the comfortable presence by his side.

„It is…tranquilizing.“

Satori smiles at him, a small genuine smile, and turns to watch the sky again. „Have you ever thought about… how humans try to copy what they love? Like stars with fireworks…“ His voice is solemn, and he drops one hand, combing his fingers through the short blades of grass. „It can never beat the original, but it’s perfect in its own way, because it shows their passion. Sometimes I wonder about stuff like that…“

He feels Satori’s hand close to his own and reaching out would be easy but Wakatoshi does not dare to disturb this moment. He is not sure how many of their friends know this Satori, but he is honored that he is allowed to see him like this: thoughtful, calm, perceptive. It has never been about blind guesses and luck, but much rather about close perception and split-second decisions. Not only on the court. Wakatoshi folds his hands in his lap and looks up at the emerging stars. There is romance to close perception, he supposes.

* * *

While he believes that there is always a way, he understands too, that life doesn’t hand out a lot of second chances. There will be another opportunity, but it won’t feel the same, it won’t be the same. There is no guarantee that the outcome will be identical. In fact, the sheer multitude of factors determining the outcome of a situation renders accurate predictions unlikely. Butterfly effect. Change one seemingly inconsequential aspect and it changes everything.

It is 1 am in the morning and when he looks at his friend, it feels like one of those chances - the last one, as everything will change over the course of the next weeks. He knows, he has to figure this out before he leaves for Tokyo. He also knows that he is scared of the perturbations it might cause in their friendship. But the strange feeling in his chest has steadily been amplifying and urges him on.

„Satori.“ He doesn’t want to do this wrong, doesn’t want to ruin anything by being reckless and he knows that he is prone to miss the details of his friends‘ social lives, so it feels appropriate to ask: „Are you... seeing anyone?“

„Huh? No. Why d’cha ask?“ The puzzled expression is clear on Satori’s face, but their years together have taught him to see beneath, to spot the curious gleam in his wide eyes, the cautious tension in his shoulders. „You think I‘d be spending all my time with you if I was seeing someone else?“

It’s not that he doesn’t understand what it implies. There are different possibilities:

  * Satori would rather be in a relationship (with someone else) and feels frustrated because he is stuck with this, as he hasn’t found anyone yet. (unlikely)
  * Satori is teasing him for asking about something that has an obvious answer. (likely)
  * Satori doesn’t want to spend his time with anyone else. (hopefully) (this is selfish)
  * Satori chides him softly for implying that he wouldn’t have told his so-proclaimed best friend if he was seeing anyone. (also likely)
  * Satori would rather be in a relationship - with him. (his chest suddenly feels tight and hot and his breath catches in his throat at the thought)



It’s just that it’s hard to pick the right one. But that’s the thing with chances, sometimes you have to take them.

„No. I don’t“, he clarifies and clears his throat. „I don’t think you want to spend your time with anyone else. Not in this manner.“

There is a pause as he watches a swirl of emotions flicker across Satori’s face that he can’t possibly interpret. _He’s stunning_ , is all his brain supplies as he takes in the sight before him: wild hair, bright eyes, lanky frame. _I will miss him_ , he knows with sudden clarity and it’s strange, for he has never missed anyone before.

> He has missed his father, but it always felt like moving forward serves to bring them closer and there is consolation in that. This time it feels like he is distancing himself - he is, as a matter of fact, physically, when moving to a city 4 hours away - and he is not ready for that. It’s the opposite of what he wants.

„You got me there, huh?“, Satori sighs silently and looks resigned, timid. It’s unusual. It’s the last shove he needs.

„Would it be alright if I kiss you?“

Satori’s eyes grow even wider and his jaw drops. „Why would‘cha wanna do that?“ He sounds mystified, clamps his mouth shut again, fast, and flushes. Even in the dark, it’s easy to make out the color on his cheeks, his ears, his neck.

Answer is there, but it cannot be put into words. It’s clearly more of a defense mechanism than an actual question, so Wakatoshi just repeats his words.

„Would it be alright if I kiss you?“ There is no pressure behind it, only honest inquisitiveness and patient self-restraint.

Satori looks at him, a pensive pull on the corners of his mouth, then shakes his head and laughs.

And laughs.

Something inside him seems to crack and he slumps back into the grass, wheezing. Wakatoshi would be taken aback if it didn’t sound so free and light-hearted. Somehow, it eases the constricting feeling in his chest and a small smile tugs at his lips.

„I’m sorry“, Satori gasps between fits of laughter and props himself up on his elbows on second try, blinking away tears in the corners of his eyes. His grin is radiant and without any reservation. 

„Yeah. _Hell yeah_ “, he answers finally, voice airy from laughing so hard. „Go ahead.“

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! kudos, critique and comments are always much appreciated! Or find me on twitter @lavendelshampoo and feel free to talk to me.


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